"Cinnamon Rolls and Baked Ziti"

The holidays have changed for me over the years, as I have lost most of my family; but one constant in my holiday traditions is cinnamon rolls. Every morning on Thanksgiving and Christmas, I wake up to the smell of cinnamon rolls being made in the oven downstairs. The smell spreads through the whole house like a cozy, warm blanket through the cold weather.

On Christmas, we wake up and eat our breakfast before opening presents. As we have never had a real fireplace, my mom finds one on YouTube with music in the background to have on the TV while we open our gifts with anticipation. My mom, dad, brother, and I spend the morning together, eating sugary goodness while getting wrapping paper everywhere. Our three dogs always have fun chasing after the wrapping paper before it makes it into a garbage bag.

After we finish opening our presents, we always go back for seconds on breakfast. We then go back to the living room to look at our gifts, unboxing the ones we were most excited for. After spending time with each other curled up on the couch with gifts, coffee, and lots of blankets, we would go our separate ways to get ready for more family to come over.

My dad would make two trays of baked ziti and a pot of sausage in meat sauce. He would spend hours cooking it, as it was everyone’s favorite part of Christmas. Eventually, my Nonna, her boyfriend, and my Poppop would come over to spend the holiday with the four of us. We would eat dinner while joking about childhood memories and talking about how my brother was doing in football that past season. Then, we would finish our meal with premade cookies and brownies my mom picked up from the store. After we finished eating, we would go back to the couch and open presents from my grandparents, having the football game or Christmas movies playing in the background.

As years go by and loss strikes our family, our traditions have changed. Now it’s only my mom, dad, brother, and I, which cut our holidays in half due to the loss of my grandparents. We no longer rush to get ready before everyone else arrives. My dad no longer spends hours in the kitchen cooking his cheesy, delicious pasta. My mom no longer runs to the store on Christmas Eve to buy festive desserts. All we have left is each other and our cinnamon rolls for breakfast.

This year is my last Christmas as a teenager, and it holds a special place in my heart. Although Christmas magic never truly goes away, it’s hard to see the people you love most fade away over the years. I’m happy and grateful for the family I have, along with the friend family I have created. A new tradition I follow is going to my best friend’s house after spending time with my family, and I spend the night with my “second family.” Although baked ziti and family dinners were lost over the years, I am thankful to continue on my family breakfast while adding a new friend tradition.